One of my favorite baseball stories is about three umpires who were discussing how they did their jobs, especially when they were working behind the plate, calling balls and strikes. The first umpire said, "Some of 'em are balls; some of 'em are strikes. But I calls 'em as I sees 'em." The second one said, "Some of 'em are balls; some of 'em are strikes. But I calls 'em as they are. The third one said...